Lezzz face it, we might all go crazy before this month of isolation is over! You and your partner are stuck and home and although you love each other – getting a break from each other is always nice and healthy! How do you keep the love alive when you’re stuck at home!? How do you keep from wanting to kill each other in your close quarters?! How do you keep things fun and intentional when you’re surrounded by bad news.
Here’s 6 quirky ways to keep the love alive while you’re stuck at home from a wedding photographer who’s been married for almost 8 years to my bestfriend/frenemy.
1. Communicate goals for the day:
Make it a habit to start the day with a conversation and a plan. Something like “Hey, what are some of your goals today that I can help you with?” opens you both up to connection and support. You both may have work related things you need to attend to, so asking how you can support each other is a great way to start on the right foot in the mornings.
Seriously, wrestle it out! Nothing kills the frustration and pent up energy then having a good old fashioned/sexy wrestling match on the bed. 9 times out of 10 it ends in some hanky-pank so it’s good all the way around. *wink wink Getting your heart rates up together and getting a little sweaty while rolling around in the hay is always a good way to kill the tension, let off some steam and rekindle the flame.
3. Communicate using “I” statements:
Being a therapist’s wife, I’ve learned the power of using “I” statements, especially in conflict. When our tempers are up, we can start pointing fingers and escalating arguments. Pulling it back to “I” statements brings the focus back onto our feelings and voicing our feelings can quickly lead to an empathetic ear in our partner. Remember, he/she loves you. They aren’t trying to drive you nuts. They have a story and when you try to mesh yours with there’s, things can get messy. So remember to give each other the benefit of the doubt and lots of grace. But also remember, your feelings matter, so voice them when it’s safe and use “I” statements like “I feel frustrated when ______ happens….” – “I feel disrespected when the toilet seat is left up…” or “I feel annoyed when XYZ…”
4. Write each other notes and leave them around the house:
I know, I know, you’re thinking this is cheesy, but bear with me! Notes = Intention. They take time and they take some thought. Taking time to leave a sweet note about how much you love the way her hair smells, or how sexy he looks in those tube socks and slippers, in random places around the house are cute, cheesy ways to keep the flirting alive and bring some spontaneity to your isolation.
5. Cook together, but make it a game.
Break out the pots and pans! Make a rule that you can’t touch each other as you work your way through the kitchen side by side, making a meal. Make it hard for your partner to reach for the butter, or to open the fridge without accidentally touching you. It’ll quickly move from the kitchen to the bedroom, trust me. For you more adventurous types, this one is for you! Close the curtains and take your clothes off and get to cooking in the buff. If you’ve got kids, put them to bed and get cookin’ (keep a robe close by for emergencies;)).
6. Tell stories from when you first got together:
One of the best ways to increase affection is to reminisce. Reminding yourself of what you first fell in love with, how he made you feel the first time you kissed, or how it felt when she held your hand for the first time. Those fond memories increase our serotonin levels which make us feel happy and connected. Make it a point to tell one story every day during isolation.
There you have it! 6 quirky keep the love alive when you’re stuck at home from your favorite Missouri wedding photographer. As a wedding photographer I see all kinds of love and the one thing they all have in common is intentionality and grace. Be intentional with your time together, give grace when tempers get short and you’ll be just fine.
Hang in there kids!
Be sure to check out https://stephmasat.com/5-tips-to-plan-your-wedding-during-the-covid-19-scare/